Traditional eggnog is, essentially, a drinkable custard with raw eggs. It’s meant to be decadent, thick, spiced, and alcoholic (if you’re into that sort of thing). But making a big batch of eggnog isn’t a quick endeavor. Some recipes require a good deal of whipped eggs, and others involve tempering the custard with hot milk. If you’re interested in making eggnog but discouraged by the raw eggs, wish you had a vegan option, or are put off by the time it takes to make a batch, I've got the perfect hack for you.
Classic eggnog takes a while
I don’t know how many people learned about eggnog from watching Christmas Vacation, but you can add me to your ranks. After that inspiring reindeer cup scene, I tried making a classic eggnog from scratch—the kind with whipped yolks and whipped egg whites folded in at the end. While it tasted good, and was extremely alcoholic, I never made it again. Simply put, it was a pain in the ass. Unless you’re going full, raw-egg cocktail—which doesn’t batch very well—you have to do a lot of whipping. If you’re cooking the custard to achieve that stable, velvety texture, then you’re probably tempering eggs with hot milk. That leaves you with a pot of steaming hot custard to cool off before consuming, and that alone takes many Earth-hours to do.
Ice-cream eggnog is the answer (even for vegans)
That's right: ice cream. Your mind will tell you, “no, we’ve spent our whole life preventing this,” but go ahead and melt a pint or two of vanilla ice cream. It’s the perfect base for a flavorful, thick, and creamy eggnog: It is, itself, a pre-made, pre-aerated, pre-chilled vanilla custard. You probably already have a brand you love. The hard work is done for you; all you have to do is personalize it.
I saw this hack on Sara Moulton’s Instagram. If you don’t know her, Sara’s an OG celebrity chef. Sara was searing steaks on the Food Network before Rachael Ray burnt her first piece of broiler toast on TV.
Moulton suggests letting your ice cream melt in the fridge overnight. Since I like this hack because of its potential to be fast, I melted mine in the microwave.
Take the caps off your freezer-fresh pints of ice cream and remove the plastic seal, if any. I used Ben & Jerry's vanilla ice cream and put the whole pint in the microwave for 20 seconds to get the edges to loosen up. Then I scooped the ice cream out into a glass measuring cup. Microwave the ice cream in 20-second bursts, stirring in between, to melt the ice cream fully but without making it hot. (If you like warm eggnog then you can continue microwaving and stirring until you’re happy with the temperature.)
Add ground spices like cinnamon, nutmeg, clove, cardamom, or allspice and stir them in. If any of the spices clump, use an immersion blender to give it a quick blend. Stir in your choice of brown liquor, like whiskey, rum, brandy, or bourbon. Sara’s recipe suggests two ounces of alcohol per pint of ice cream. This is perfect if you just like the barest reminder that you’re drinking alcohol. I tasted the eggnog after two, three, and four ounces of bourbon, and I found that three was perfect for me.
This hack is also great if you can’t find a dairy-free or vegan eggnog in the store. Most frozen dessert “ice creams” have helpful thickeners and emulsifiers that prevent it from splitting or getting weird even after melting, but test the brand before making a big batch for a holiday party. Use the same microwaving method and proceed from there. This recipe makes four servings, and can be doubled or tripled for larger batches.
Quick Ice Cream Eggnog Recipe
(adapted from Sara Moulton)
Ingredients:
1 pint vanilla ice cream (or vegan vanilla “ice cream”)
2-4 ounces whiskey, rum, brandy, or bourbon
½ teaspoon of any ground spices (cinnamon, cardamom, cloves, nutmeg, or ginger)
1. Take the top of the carton off and remove any liner. Place the whole carton on the counter to soften for 20 minutes, or soften it in the microwave for 20 seconds. Scoop the ice cream out into a microwave-safe bowl or measuring cup.
2. Microwave the ice cream in 20-second bursts, stirring and breaking up the ice cream in between. Continue doing this until you’re happy with the serving temperature.
3. Stir in the alcohol of choice. Add any combination of spices you like for a combined measurement of half a teaspoon. If needed, use an immersion blender to break up any spice clusters. Serve and be merry.